Graves' Disease Update

This morning I had my second meeting with the endocrinologist. In a few weeks I will be getting my thyroid ablated with radioactive iodine.

I am exhausted today but I'll be okay again once I get a couple of good nights sleep. I was up late Saturday night with a Halloween party and then last night lost some sleep as I was obsessing about the possibility of communicating with my daughter. My heartrate was higher at the endocrinologist's. I think it was due to that. It's an hour's drive to the doc and then back.

The doctor confirmed that it is definitely Graves' Disease.

I haven't felt depressed at all since beginning treatment for this. I believe that the GD may have started last winter. I thought it was depression and went to our general practitioner to get an antidepressant. I had a lot to do and had people depending on me to get this work done but I was having a hard time getting going in the morning. I could hardly manage to get my laundry done. I thought it was depression. The G.P. didn't have any blood work done and just wrote out a script. And then another one in July when the first one wasn't working. Which resulted in a bad reaction and the discovery of the thyroid problem.

So that's where I'm at. I need a nap. Definitely need a nap.

Snicks

Snicks' Olde Family Photo Album

I have this little site that I created quite a while ago. You are welcome to visit.

Snicks' Very Olde Family Album

Snicks

Jerry Lewis & Dean Martin, a Love Story?

Jerry Lewis has written a book. I've heard the interviews with Lewis on NPR. Those of you who visit here who are younger may not know much about Lewis and Martin. Their partnership as a comedy team was in the fifties and sixties. I was just a kid when they were first on TV. It was BIG news when they broke up. It was an estrangement that no one in the public anyway understood.

WHAT A CLOWN!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

About subjects of posts and sociopaths, NPD and that wedding ...

It has been alleged by Robin that I visit her website every day.

No. I visit it on occasion. Sometimes months go by without my visiting it. Robin is a Drama Queen. She calls this "stalking". Puhleeze!!!

She has suggested that the fact that I talk about murders of families might mean that I would hurt her.

No. That is absurd. I talk about murders of families for two reasons. One is that I am always fascinated by the contrast between the private person and the public person. Between how some people seem so very normal and then they go and do something so contrary to everyone's expectations of them.

Good Morning, World! Gratitude and Rejection

I have so much in life to be grateful for. My husband is supportive and has encouraged me to do so many things I was afraid to do or thought I couldn't do well enough. My gratitude to him is endless.

I am grateful for my health and even more so than usual after being miserably ill for a month and a half. It feels so very good to feel normal again! After you are sick, being healthy feels extra good. I am extra appreciative of my health.

I'm also extra appreciative of the warm and comfortable shelter I have in the form of a house, especially at a time when natural disasters have taken away that kind of comfort from so many thousands. I am grateful that I can do anything, even if only send money, to assist others.

Robin? I never expected you to be pleased if you found this.

If you have really looked at Estrangements.com, you would see that I have never presented myself as someone who is a therapist or a counselor. Where i have given advice is through my own experience. I have owned my mistakes. I have shared what I have learned from others estrangements. I do not consider myself the Dear Abby of estrangements. I expressed my feelings there and here. The site is full of information about estrangement source material that is not of my making. There are books referenced and links about estrangements. The time I spent on it was not for you. It was for others. There are a lot of people who have experienced tremendous pain from estrangements. The site is for them, not for you. This may be news to YOU, but not everything is about YOU either.

I have shared my own experience and disagree with it as you will, it is MY experience and you would not know what MY experience has been like. No one that you are in a relationship with would know anything about MY experience of it. Least of all YOU!

I don't care if you read it. I don't care if all of your relatives read it. I don't care if none of you understand. I don't care if you hate me or if you all think I am some kind of nut. I just don't care. I am beyond your ability to hurt me and I don't care what you think or whether you agree. From what I can see of what you are writing about me, you are a liar. You may believe your lies but you are still a liar. And you are good at projection too. Definition of Projection. Excellent at projection. A top notch expert at projection! Congratulations! I would give you the Gold Medal for Projection at the Olympics if I could.

I just don't care what you think about this.

Snicks

How one person can see purple & the other can see orange or red but never purple ...

THE ART OF MISPERCEPTION OR

How one person can see purple and the other orange ...

Well, back to discussing estrangements using myself and my daughter as lab rats to observe, dissect, and draw conclusions. Some will consider this callous and cold. A certain person with the first name of Robin most certainly will. Empathy isn't her long suit. She is clueless about why I have this website.

It is futile to attempt to communicate with my daughter. We are on such different planets. If I read text one way, she reads it in an entirely different way and vice versa. It is just futile. But this is good fuel for writing about this phenomena. It is not that I feel cold and without feeling about my daughter's hatred of me. It is that I can't do anything about it and it has gone on so long that I no longer have intense feelings about it. I have developed callouses. We cannot communicate as there is no common ground of understanding. Our lack of relationship now is only good for one thing ... as an example for others on what happens in an estrangement.

So ... I will discuss it on that basis.

About my thyroid ...

I realize that I have left anyone hanging who might have wondered what happened with my thyroid. The results are in. I have Graves' Disease. I have the dubious pleasure of sharing this experience with the older George Bush and Barbara Bush. I have wondered how long they had to wait before they got an appointment with an endocrinologist? Not long, I'll bet! I have wondered if they experienced all of the intestinal and colonic indignities of the ailment? Like hyperdefecation and hemorrhoids? Being Presidential or a First Lady wouldn't make you immune to the little delights of Graves', would it? Or do the doctors at the White House have secret miracle cures for these miserable symptoms?

Can't sleep. Discoveries on her family photo album ...

It's early in the AM and I can't sleep. This is the fault of having fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV earlier in the evening and then when I go to bed, I can't sleep. The irony! I couldn't stay awake on the couch but I can't sleep in bed!

So what better time than 2:30 AM to write a post?

I discovered more details when I looked at Robin's website again tonight. In her online family photo album she has added text on top of the photos. Over her father's image she has added "Robin's Asshole of a Dad" and his name. Over her stepmother's image she has added her stepmother's full name and the words "Robin's Step Bitch".

I feel really lucky! All she did was estrange me and then act like I had died. There are no photos of me on her website. I don't exist. I never knew how fortunate I was!

Snicks

Breaking News! Another Estrangement in the Family ...

I visited my daughter, Robin's website yesterday, as I do occasionally. It is my way of updating myself on her life if she has updated her website. She has used it as a means of putting news of her life out there, ostensibly for friends? or cousins? Or me? I don't know why she puts the information on there but she does. Not often. Sometimes a year and a half goes by before she changes it. Usually she changes it when something significant happens like a death or the loss of a job or the start of a new job. She talks on it as though she is talking directly with someone but it is unclear who she is talking to. It sounds as though she is hopeful that her cousins visit the site. They are far flung, from Florida to California and elsewhere.