The Princess (or Prince) and the Pea

OR Don't Let the Prince(ss)'s Get You Down!

Do you remember the children's story about the Princess and the Pea? The Princess was the girl who was made so uncomfortable by the presence of a Pea under her mattress that she needed many many mattresses laid one on top of the other before she was able to sleep. This was the test of a True Princess. It was only a True Princess who could discern the presence of the Pea through multiple mattresses. Commoners would be able to sleep without feeling the Pea.

In the fairy tale this extreme sensitivity was considered to be a good thing. Therefore, the most delicate and sensitive girl was the True Princess. In real life, being a Princess can be a pain in the butt to everyone else. Save us all from the Prince and Princesses of the world!

We all have known people who became estranged from someone for reasons which were easy to understand and with which we could empathize. Then there are the people who have estranged themselves from those who loved them for reasons that are more difficult to understand. In a previous post I referred to our friend, Aaron. It was a post about logic and I talked about naming logic after people so that my husband and I refer to a kind of logic as Aaron Logic.

At times Aaron is estranged from his eighty-plus year old father. The reason for the last estrangement between Aaron and his father was that Aaron's father refused to buy a residence near Aaron. Aaron took his father out to see properties for sale in his area. Aaron's father has lived in the same neighborhood for decades. He has many friends there and coffee shops and other places that he loves to visit. The father can walk to these places every day. If he had to drive to this neighborhood from Aaron's neighborhood, it would be difficult for him and even hazardous as he is in his eighties and doesn't do much driving. The father didn't want to move and refused to buy a property near Aaron's home. Aaron, using his Aaron logic, felt rejected by his father and took this refusal as a grave insult. Aaron stopped speaking to his father. Aaron passes the test for being a Prince.

While the story of the Princess and the Pea was a fairy tale that gave us pleasure to hear when we were children, the story of the Princess and the Estrangement that some of us experience as adults in Real Life is more of a nightmare than a fairy tale. Some children grow up to be adult Princesses and Princes, cutting us off for reasons that make sense to themselves by their own unique brand of Royal Logic.

What is the Pea? Gosh, it can be so many things, this Pea. The list could be endless without ever becoming a Watermelon-sized Pea. There are Princes and Princesses who can be irritated by just about anything. I'll bet you know one or two Princes and Princesses. People who are bugged by everything. Who whine and complain, moan and groan, as though they are the only ones in the world who have it so tough, the only ones in the world with such terrible parents. They carry on so much that you know that if you said one word in praise or defense of their parents (or their former friend or whomever is the Pea of the Day) that the Princesses and the Princes of the world would stop talking to you too. So you don't say a thing and you nod your head in agreement and you say, "Oh yes, oh yes, you poor poor sad Prince(ss), you poor thing, you have had it so very tough. Yes. Let me give you a hug, you poor poor pitiful thing." Then you turn around, roll your eyes, and go find someone who is less of a prima dona to spend the rest of your day with.

So? Do you know anyone like that?

What is the moral of this story? The moral of this story is that there is considerable value to being a Commoner, to being able to let some things slide off your back, to choosing your battles, to getting perspective, to developing a thicker skin and not looking for the fly in every soup. Sometimes the fly in the soup is just parsley!

Some things aren't worth fighting over. Life is short. Insomnia is a bitch. Don't lose sleep over the Pea under the mattress. Don't lose sleep over the rejections of the Princes and Princesses of the world. Let them live in their Fantasy Castles of Slights and Disappointments and Grudges if they must but you? You must get out into the world and enjoy yourself and don't let a Prince or Princess get you down because they are so very very delicate that they can't let themselves have a relationship with you.

There are a lot of people in the world who do enjoy your company, who do want to see you, who do appreciate you, and whom you enjoy seeing. Get yourself out there and spend your time with them. Let the Princes and Princesses congregate in their cold lonely stone castles where they can look under every mattress for the Pea while the rest of us go and hang out with the Commoners of the world and have a good time.

Maybe occasionally us fun loving Commoners can allow ourselves to have a sad thought about the Princes and Princesses who have rejected us. We can stop and bow our heads and shed a tear but then we have to remind ourselves that it is their decision not to have us in their lives. That they always have the choice to recognize that a Pea is just a Pea and not a Watermelon. Then, once we have reminded ourselves of that and done our mourning, we can pick up our heads, go forth and enjoy all the wonderful people who are in our lives. If we don't know enough fun loving Commoners, the good news is that we can have fun going out and finding Commoners and not depend on Princes and Princesses to fill the empty places.

Once upon a time I had a refrigerator magnet on which were the words, "Don't let the turkeys get you down!" I am amending that saying to read: "Don't let the Prince(ss)'s of the world get you down!" On these words I will leave you for today which is my Birthday! I am going to go and do some fun things today. I hope you go and find some fun things to do today too.

Snicks