An Estrangement Lexicon

The Movie: The Squid and The Whale

To the Minnesota Mom/Daughter

Hoping that the Minnesota Mom comes back to read on Typepad rather than LiveJournal one of these days and sees this.

Dear Minnesota Mom,

There was a time when my thinking about kids was similar to yours. Not entirely and I don't think and feel that way any more but, yes, there was a time when my thinking was much different than it is now. This is because when you go through several kinds of life experiences, you begin to appreciate more the concept of having walked in someone else's shoes, even those of people whom you didn't understand at all once upon a time.

BTW I am not retired and do not have lots of time on my hands to expect any relatives to entertain me. I wasn't retired with lots of my time on my hands 10 years ago. I never ever ever tried to experience life vicariously through anyone else or define myself through my role as mother. Far from it. I have been extremely busy in my own life and I have lots and lots and lots of stuff to keep me busy for a long long time.

You wrote at the end: "Of course, this isn't a happy ending to my story yet. I keep telling myself that someday my son will have a life of HIS own, and that is when the real test occurs. God help me."

Yes. I related to what you wrote at the end the most. I appreciate the sentiment expressed in those last three words and I wish you and your son the best. Perhaps, being a son, the chances of difficulty will be less than if he was a daughter. I do hear from more mothers of daughters than I do from mothers of sons. Right now I can't recall if I have EVER heard from the mother of a son who estranged himself although I have read of mother/son estrangements.

Thank you for responding to a post on LiveJournal. As stated on LiveJournal, the blog continues now on Typepad and no Comments on LiveJournal will be responded to there.

My hope for you is a continuing wonderful relationship with your son,


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