Not 100% normal?

New to my bookshelves

Do you want to discuss your estrangement online?

If you would be interested in participating in a private online discussion group on estrangement, please email me at If I receive at least ten emails of interest in being invited to a discussion group by November 15, I will set up one or two private groups for discussion.

If I set up two groups, one would be for those who see themselves as having initiated their estrangement. Do you see yourself as an Estranger? The second group would be for those who see themselves as having been estranged by someone they loved. Do you see yourself as an Estrangee?

These groups, like this blog and the Estrangements website, would be for those who are experiencing estrangement from adopted or blood relatives. The groups would not be for wives or husbands who feel estranged by separation and divorce from their former spouses.

If you are interested in participating in a discussion, I suggest selecting a user name that would not identify you personally. You could set up a free account on Typekey and use a nickname for that purpose. I can set groups up to be accessible by password so that they can be read only by those who are invited to participate.

If there are enough interested for me to go ahead and set up one or more groups, I would open up more groups in the future if there were more people interested rather than subscribing more people to a group. My personal experience in a private group is that it works well at a small size. If there are a lot of people subscribed and only a few participate, then there is that sense of unease over who the lurkers are  which only gets worse as the number of inactive participants increase. Plus it's harder for a large number of people to have a discussion than it is for a small number.

Let me know with an email if you are interested in being part of a group. Your email to me can be as simple as that you are interested in being part of a discussion group and would like to be invited if one is set up. You don't need to tell me anything else about yourself although you might specify whether you see yourself as an "estranger" or an "estrangee".

An estrangee is someone who has been estranged unwillingly by someone else. An estranger is someone who has decided to do the estranging. I know that this is not always clear as sometimes we may feel as though the other person has pushed us into the decision or that someone else may see us as having estranged them when they have done something unacceptable. But if you feel that you are more one way than another, let me know that along with your interest in discussing things.

(Note added on November 5: I have heard from eight people so far who are interested in a discussion group.)



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