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The Pitfalls of Online Communication

Proof that you are not alone.

I am provided with data by the server provider (ISP) of my website,, and by SiteMeter and Typepad for the Estrangements blog. The data is information about how visitors access and use my sites, information such as the number of visitors by day, week and month to each site, the number of pages viewed, the part of the world from which the visit comes from, and other information.

The specific identity of individuals is not provided to me. Sometimes it is obvious who is visiting when the data gives enough information to reveal the possible identity of someone known personally to the webmaster but otherwise everyone is anonymous. The purpose of providing information to webmasters and bloggers is to show them how their websites and blogs are being used and if they are "successful" according to whatever criteria of success they may have. Then they can choose whether to do anything differently or not with their site. Today I am sharing some of my data as of today's date, October 7, 2007, with my readers as I thought that you might find it interesting to know a little bit about the activity on sites such as these.

I will provide some data first for the website,, followed by data for the blog, Estrangements, which you are currently visiting. So note that there are two sites for which data is being provided. The two sites are used differently which is logical since the sites have different approaches although they share the same goal of providing information on the topic of Estrangement. is less personal than Estrangements, the weblog.


First up is a graph of the daily page visits as shown by Numbers of Requests for pages or files (which can be an image file, an html page, a CSS page, etc.) on for August 26 to October 6. Each visit generates a request for all of the files that make up a page. One page visit can generate several requests, not just one.

Note that the data for October 6 is not yet entered for yesterday's visits by the ISP which is why the graph drops down on the left.This graph does not show the number of unique visitors to which generally runs between 60 and 125 visitors per day which is considerably more than the number of visitors to the blog.:



The next graph is's ISP's Weekly Report for the period September 3, 2006 to September 30, 2007. I don't know why there was a dramatic increase in requests around September 2006.:

Weeklywebsite MONTHLY REPORT for the period of Sept. 2006 to Oct. 5, 2007.


30 Most Popular Queries's ISP provides a list of the most popular Keywords and Queries that people use that bring them to the site. The list below is of the top thirty most popular Queries:

Search QueryNumber of requests
1. 340
2. estrangements 162
3. b.d hyman 143
4. bd hyman 141
5. b d hyman 107
6. estrangement 93
7. family estrangement 79
8. estrangement blog 24
9. mother daughter estrangement 24
10. b.d.hyman 23
11. mother daughter estrangements 22
12. 22
13. family estrangements 19
14. nancy aniston 15
15. sibling estrangement 14
16. estrangement from family 12
17. may to december 11
18. estranged family 11
19. emotional claustrophobia 11
20. poems about reconciliation 10
21. poems about stars 10
22. estranged daughter 10
23. mother/daughter estrangements 10
24. 9
25. estrangement from adult child 9
26. father daughter estrangement 9
27. baggage1 8
28. mother estrangement 8
29. 8
30. grandmother of the twenties 8
  [not listed: 1772] 2,275

And here are the thirty most popular Search Words:

Search WordNumber of requests
1. estrangement 839
2. hyman 418
3. daughter 353
4. 341
5. mother 339
6. estranged 332
7. family 310
8. estrangements 277
9. poems 262
10. from 242
11. to 237
12. and 199
13. about 165
14. of 160
15. bd 156
16. b.d 152
17. with 150
18. a 131
19. b 113
20. d 112
21. adult 101
22. my 100
23. father 98
24. for 87
25. son 86
26. children 82
27. poem 80
28. the 74
29. how 71
30. me 67
  [not listed: 1654] 6,277


The data below is for the Weblog that you are currently on, not the website The website receives six to twelve times as many visitors per day as the weblog.


Number of Visitors by Month from October 2006 to October 6, 2007:


Where are the visits originating from? (Note: Some visitors use "proxies" to surf on the internet. Proxies disguise the identity of the visitor somewhat and don't provide the visitor's ISP and geographic location. Also,the location refers to the location of the service provider which might not be the same as the location of the visitor. So the geographic locations given by site counters give only a general idea of where the visits are coming from.)

Each dot on the maps below represent visits. These maps show the location of the ISP's of the last 100 visitors to the weblog. The red (which is supposed to be red but looks brown) dot represents the most recent visit as of when I copied the image earlier today. The green dots represent the last ten visits. The white dots represent the rest of the last 100 visits.

Here is a world map:


Visitors in the USA:



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mary jane kummer

My mother does not treat me as though I am her child. Ihad a brain tumor in 2000 and she was told by my boyfiend and she said "I always Knew something was wrong with her head." He was shocked ! I was not. First I had a stroke in 1993 and she was on vacation and my aunt sent her a fax because she said she was going to Florida and they found her in cancun and she came back two days after knowing and told me the I ruined
my vacation! I could not talk at that point so, I just cried to myself. I had to learn to talk all over again. I am divorced and both of my so called parents never called or offered financial help or
anything of the sort. I have so much garbage of things that they did to me it is unreal that they are my flesh and blood!!!!


Mary Jane, What a horrifying story! I don't understand anyone who would treat another person like that. And you are her daughter!

I hope that you have been able to go on and to find other people in your life to be a chosen family. I feel sad for you and angry that you were treated that way. No one deserves that.


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