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Posts from December 2007

Dr. Joshua Coleman on NBC's Today Show, Friday, Dec. 21, 2007

Dr. Joshua Coleman, family therapist and author of When Parents Hurt will be appearing on NBC's Today Show on Friday, December 21, 2007 in the 8 o'clock hour.

Followup note: I watched the segment (video link here). Call me a curmudgeon if you must but I was disappointed that the Today Show didn't give this topic more time. It seemed like one minute. Maybe it was two minutes. They showed the text of a few emails from parents who are in pain over estrangement. They had a brief segment of Coleman being interviewed. He was asked to give three tips for parents. He suggested, "Take responsibility. Stay in the game. Get support." And then, of course, there is his book. Which is an excellent book which would be the most helpful for those who are in situations where they have a conflict which has not yet reached the point of estrangement. The most positive thing that might come ouf of the Today Show is that parents may buy his book. MSNBC has this on their website now about Coleman and family estrangement.

I had been looking forward to the Today Show's coverage of this topic so was very disappointed that, in my viewpoint, the coverage was only crumbs of information. Not a full meal. Not even an appetizer! But maybe I am not seeing it the right way. I am seeing the cup as 80% empty when I could look at it as 20% full. One fifth of a cup is better than an empty cup! So perhaps I need to see the Today Show coverage as a needed acknowledgment of the painful losses that so many experience through estrangement. And I need to thank the Today Show for their two minutes of coverage of family estrangement. After all, time is valuable. And they have so many other things to discuss. Hmmmmmm. Like Christmas presents or something.

So much power is in the media and then they don't use it. They spend more time on cooking recipes than on important issues that affect people's everyday lives.

Ginny (who likes food as much as anyone but wishes that the media would present food for THOUGHT sometimes and not just food for the stomach.)

My annual Christmas wish to you

I wrote the following as part of a longer post on Estrangements.com  Christmas Day 2004  and have posted it again the last two years. This has become my annual Christmas wish to all my visitors, estrangees and estrangers.

Originally written December 25, 2004

About Christmas .... it seems almost inappropriate to wish those who come here looking for answers a Merry Christmas. If you have come here to find a way to resolve an estrangement and you're miserable over being estranged, then the last thing I'd think you'd want to hear is a greeting of Merry Christmas when you are feeling the least merry that you've ever felt. Christmas may have been torture. The entire season may have been just one hell of a day after another. Been there, done that too. A good grim "bah humbug" might be something you'd rather hear.

So ... rather than wish you a Merry Christmas ... I will offer you a Get Well card. I hope that you do Get Well and someday find yourself able to enjoy the greeting of Merry Christmas again. I wish you the ability to smile. to get up in the morning with no tears, the freedom to spend most of a day thinking of whatever you'd like to think about rather than this misery of being estranged, the joy of being able to appreciate the sun, good friends, the fact that you're alive. I wish you the miracle of waking some day and later thinking with surprise about how you didn't wake up thinking about your estrangement and you can't remember how long it has been since you thought about being estranged. I wish you relief from your pain, healing from your loss, and the ability to feel joy once again.

No, I don't have the answer that you may have come here to find but I promise you that there is healing whether you find the answer or not. Eventually. It takes time. Have faith and hang in there!