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Posts from May 2021

Family Estrangement - Coping With Being Estranged | Goop

This is a boundary question: What people express and share with other people is a boundary. I feel like every day of work I’m helping people fight against some societal norm that has them really fighting against their own inner core and their own beliefs. When it comes to estrangement in my practice, clients tell me sometimes the shame is worse than the loss of the person.

via goop.com

The Atlantic: Joshua Coleman article on family estrangements

Quoting Coleman:

It is sometimes tempting to see family members as one more burden in an already demanding life. It can be hard to see their awkward attempts to care for us, the confounding nature of their struggles, and the history they carry stumbling into the present. It can be difficult to apologize to those we’ve hurt and hard to forgive those who have hurt us. But sometimes the benefits outweigh the costs. Tara Westover wrote in her memoir, Educated, “I know only this: that when my mother told me she had not been the mother to me that she wished she’d been, she became that mother for the first time.”

We are all flawed. We should have that at the forefront of our minds when deciding who to keep in or out of our lives—and how to respond to those who no longer want us in theirs."

via www.theatlantic.com

How to cope with estrangement | Gransnet

If you've lost contact with family, it can feel incredibly isolating - but estrangement is more common than you might think. Research by Gransnet revealed that one in seven grandparents are estranged from their grandchildren, with many more also estranged from their adult children. If you are affected, you may be wondering how to cope and where to turn for help, so we've compiled advice from gransnetters on how they dealt with the loss and asked the experts at Relate to answer your questions on estrangement. 

via www.gransnet.com

Updating / tidying up estrangements.com

Hi! It's been a while! Just wanted to give visitors a heads up that I have been working on updating and tidying up pages on Estrangements.com. A while back, years back, when Google gave notice that they were going to lower sites in search results if they were not designed to be seen on mobile devices as well as desk top computers, I bought software (Blocs) to redesign my sites. I have three sites that I manage. So I used the new software. Everything could be seen on all devices. All was well. Until it sort of wasn't.

The app maker sent out upgrades as they do. In my initial work with their app on Estrangements.com, I used what is called a "code widget" to save time when migrating the original design to the new app. I have a lot of links on the site and a lot of text. So that speeded things up. A lot! But after one of the upgrades, the code widgets were royally messed up. At least in my opinion the pages with the code widgets after that "upgrade" looked pretty horrible (and a couple of them still do). But fixing them and removing the code widget was going to take time. So I did not get around to working on them till just recently.

Several pages are now tidied up, updated and looking presentable. Those would be the pages for Books and Movies, the page for the list of those who are estranged, and the page about support groups and blogs. I still have the page on Mental Illness and the page of Poems to do.

I apologize for leaving it such a mess for so long. It has weighed on my mind. Working on it is not the most fun I've ever had. It is tedious. But I feel good about it when it's done.

Take care all.