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Posts from June 2021

Mark Sichel: Forgiveness - 10 Steps To Letting Go Of Resentment

To read the rest of Mark Sichel's post on resentement on his blog, click the tiny link below the paragraph:

Poisoned Mind, Poisoned Body
Take a look again at that quote: "Living with resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other guy to get sick." This makes vivid one of the most crippling aspects of resentment—one you may be experiencing right now. If you're thinking about ways to get even and prove to another person that you're right and they're wrong, you need to remember that the person who is the focus of your animosity may be feeling just fine, enjoying life, and perhaps not at all troubled by any of the interactions that are renting space in your brain. Ultimately, resentment hurts you far more than the person toward whom you bear a grudge.

via www.marksichel.com


HiddenVoices. FinalReport

Hidden Voices: A study of family estrangement:

"This research was conducted by Dr Lucy Blake from the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge in collaboration with Stand Alone Charity and its beneficiaries. An online survey was created with the aim of examining the experiences and psychological consequences of estrangement from a family member."

via www.standalone.org.uk

Click the link above to go to the website to read the full report.


Can you opt out of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day?

by Rachel Grumman Bender, May 5, 2021

Whether you’re estranged from a parent or child, have lost a child or parent, or are coping with infertility, holidays such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can bring up a range of complicated emotions. Not everyone wants reminders of those holidays constantly showing up in their inbox either. So several brands have taken the initiative by offering customers the option of opting out of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day emails.

via www.yahoo.com


Father's Day Archives - Parents of Estranged Adult Children: Help and Healing

by Sheri McGregor, June 17, 2016

As Father’s Day rolls around again, many of you fathers of estranged adult children are holding hurt inside. For fathers of estranged adult children, Father’s Day can be a time of embarrassment and pain—yet those feelings aren’t necessarily discussed, or acknowledged. Many fathers keep themselves busy and don’t share their pain. Some ask, “What’s the use of talking about something you can’t fix?” Others, as I’ve learned in my research, want to stay strong for their partner.

via www.rejectedparents.net


How to Make it Through Father's Day If It's Difficult For You

by Elizabeth Yuko, June 18, 2020

And though people (rightfully) think about Father’s Day being difficult for children and adult children of deceased, estranged or absentee dads, Aisha R. Shabazz, a licensed clinical social worker, therapist and clinical supervisor, says that we should consider the other side, too. Specifically, “the shame and sadness that could potentially come along with ‘everyone’ else receiving gifts, lunches, dinners and acknowledgements, while others are getting nothing because their child is deceased or estranged from them,” she tells Lifehacker. “You receive the title of ‘father’ because you have children and yet, if your children are not present, you feel as though you cease to exist. It’s very isolating.”

via lifehacker.com


Lonely Hearts: Estranged Fathers on Father’s Day - Sociological Images

I work with one of the most heartbroken groups of people in the world: fathers whose adult children want nothing to do with them. While every day has its challenges, Father’s Day—with its parade of families and feel-good ads—makes it especially difficult for these Dads to avoid the feelings of shame, guilt and regret always lurking just beyond the reach of that well-practiced compartmentalization. Like birthdays, and other holidays, Father’s Day creates the wish, hope, or prayer that maybe today, please today, let me hear something, anything from my kid

via thesocietypages.org


Is It Still Father’s Day If Your Kids Won’t Speak…

  

Thomas Markle, father of the Royal Wedding bride, is not the only dad who wasn’t at his child’s wedding, and not the saddest one. At least he was invited. Each year, thousands of fathers won’t attend their child’s wedding—and not because they lack the desire, but because their grown children don’t want anything to do with them.

via greatergood.berkeley.edu


Father’s Day When You’re Estranged From Your Dad | Jennifer Margulis

Author of "Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar" writes about Father's Day (Note: click on the tiny link below the quote to go to the page to read her whole article):

My father isn’t dead but our relationship seems to be. Thanks, Facebook. The last time I heard from him, he told me to go forward as if he were dead. A reverse “You’re dead to me.” That’s where we left it.

via www.jennifermargulis.net


13 Things No Estranged Child Needs To Hear On Father’s Day – Mommyish

On Mommyish.com (click the link below the quote to bring up the page and read the rest):
Even though I really love my father, I’m beginning to hate Father’s Day. The only silver lining is that I now I have a husband and kids, and I see the potential for Father’s Day to be a loving family celebration.

via www.mommyish.com


Estranged Parents Blog. I Am One of the Estranged Parents. - annebulger.com

In my story, I had to learn that my children’s alienation from me could never be commensurate with any mistake I ever made with them. I had to learn about the retrospective guilt that every parent can feel when evaluating our history of parenting our children. I had to learn that who I am is not defined by my children’s alienation.

It has been nine years. I don’t know where my children live. I no longer try to call or send a text or write an email to which I never get a reply. The absolute silence that has existed, after my divorce from a marriage of 25 years, has been deafening.

via annebulger.com


The truth about family estrangement - BBC Future

But it is common. Research by Stand Alone, a UK charity that supports people who are estranged from relatives, suggests that estrangement affects at least one in five British families. One US study of more than 2,000 mother-child pairs found that 10% of mothers were currently estranged from at least one adult child. And one US study found that more than 40% of participants had experienced family estrangement at some point – suggesting that in certain groups, such as US college students, estrangement may be almost as common as divorce.

via www.bbc.com


Family Estrangement: Why Families Cut Ties and How to Mend Them - Scientific American

Family Estrangement: Why Families Cut Ties and How to Mend Them

From the article: "There hasn't been much research about family estrangement, in part because it’s a difficult thing to study—many people don’t want to talk about their parents or children cutting them off. But in recent years, researchers have been paying more attention, especially to estrangements between parents and adult children. Here are some things they've learned: . . . "

via www.scientificamerican.com


Article: "Brittle, Broken, Bent: Coping With Family Estrangement."

Annie Wright: “I want to talk about family estrangement.

Specifically, why and how family estrangements happen, how surprisingly common estrangements are (but how we don’t necessarily hear about this!), how to cope with estrangement in your own family, and the rarely-discussed aspect of being estranged from your family that we *need* to acknowledge.

via www.anniewright.com