Internet Finds Feed

13 Things No Estranged Child Needs To Hear On Father’s Day – Mommyish

On Mommyish.com (click the link below the quote to bring up the page and read the rest):
Even though I really love my father, I’m beginning to hate Father’s Day. The only silver lining is that I now I have a husband and kids, and I see the potential for Father’s Day to be a loving family celebration.

via www.mommyish.com


Altruism as an antidote to what ails us: Cami Walker's solution

Outside of what I wrote in my Guidelines for how to cope with being estranged I don't have any great answers on what to do about estrangements. But sometimes I see something written that rings a bell for me about things that have helped me. I saw an article like that the other day in the New York Times online.

Something that has helped me is to get involved in helping other people. In fact I do that a lot. Sometimes I do it so much that I don't have time to get other things done. So be warned! But it is a great way to get your brain going in a different direction and removing all the worries and preoccupations about things you can do nothing about. Also, you will make new friends and develop a whole new set of things to do that you never thought of doing before!

The article that I found was along the lines of curing what ails you by taking your viewpoint off of yourself and directing it outward towards the world. The article is about what one woman did and learned after she was told that she had multiple sclerosis. I think that the words "multiple sclerosis" would be mighty scary words to hear!

This is what Cami Walker did: In Month of Giving, a Healthy Reward by Tara Parker-Pope, Nov. 30, 2009.

That link is my gift to you today. Use it well!

Wishing everyone a peaceful holiday season,

Ginny


Family Estrangement inspired by online philosopher

I found a startling news article online today about family estrangements that were influenced and/or inspired by the writings and podcasts of a man, Stefan Molyneux, who considers himself to be a philosopher. He has been blamed for a number of family estrangements initiated by followers of his writings and podcasts. He makes some money from subscriptions to his podcasts, from sales of his books, and from donations. His wife is reported to be expecting their first child. One wonders how that will work out in the long run, whether he will continue to vilify parents or what he might do once he becomes a parent himself.
This is the first that I had heard of him. Apparently there is a lot of information on the internet about him.
I looked around on the web and put together a collection of links on Molyneux:

  1. "How a cyberphilosopher convinced followers to cut off family" by Tu Thanh Ha, Dec. 12, 2008 in the globeandmail.com
  2. Comments in response to "How a cyberphilosopher convinced followers to cut off family"
  3. Family and Friends of FDR-ers on Liberating Minds
  4. FDR Liberated: A continuing analysis of the FreeDomainRadio Community
  5. Liberating Minds Forum Discussion of FreeDomainRadio on the LiberatingMinds website.
  6. FreeDomainRadio, Stefan Molyneux's site
  7. FreeDomain: The Logic of Personal and Political Freedom - The FreeDomain blog
  8. 'Website Led Teen to Quit Family' by Robin Powell, Sky News Online, Dec. 29, 2008
  9. "A fearful mother reveals: the internet cult that stole my son" Dec. 12, 2008 by Kate Hilpern, The Daily Mail

Update Dec. 31: Stefan Molyneux and his wife are the happy parents of a baby girl with whom they are besotted. This stands in stark contrast to the grief of parents whose children have "deFOOed". DeFOO is a term meaning that they have left their familys of origin (their FOO). FOO and deFOO are terms used frequently in discussions on the Freedomainradio website.

Molyneux has uploaded 297 YouTube videos as of today's date. His latest video has had 211 views in the five hours since it was posted. His YouTube name is stefbot. On his Freedomainradio site it appears that he has over 1,000 podcasts. The numbers for the podcasts go over 1,000. I haven't checked to see if that means that there really are over 1,000 podcasts.

More links about FreeDomainRadio and Molyneux:

  1. Like a moth to a flame, Nov. 18, 2008
  2. I have been signed out from Free Domain Radio, Nov. 17, 2008
  3. FDR at Sky News - video and print coverage, Dec. 30, 2008
  4. My brief experience with Stefan (in four parts), Dec. 28, 2008 (The experience of someone who calls himself Dash. Scroll down in the page to where Part 1 begins.)

Article on AARP: "The Estrangement" by Jamaica Kincaid

"The Estrangement" by Jamaica Kincaid, May/June 2008
An article on a mother/daughter estrangement that was not resolved and for which the author has no regrets.
From the first paragraph:

"Three years before my mother died, I decided not to speak to her again. And why? During a conversation over the telephone, she had once again let me know that my accomplishments—becoming a responsible and independent woman—did not amount to very much, . . . "


As the link is an AARP link, after several months or perhaps a year, the link probably will end up going nowhere but it should be good for a while.


Father's Day & Estrangement II

  1. On FayObserver.com (The Fayetteville Observer), May 17, 2007: Celebrate Parents' Day by Steven R. Edelman
  2. Written by a father for his son, Shane,  from whom he had been estranged for a time. Posted on June 18, 1995: Father's Day
  3. In the archive of This American Life, Chicago Public Radio: 26: Father's Day '96. Available for download.
  4. On StarPulse.com, May 7, 2007: Adam Grenier makes a movie about search for dad
  5. A post on A Feast of Crumbs: Saturday Night Surprise, October 16, 2006
  6. A post from The Word of Todd, A Non-Prophet Prophet: It Gets to Me Every Single Time, August 5, 2006

Father's Day & Estrangement

  1. On AskMetafilter: How to be kind but firm with an estranged parent who wants more than I am willing to give, March 15, 2007
  2. On top40: The Story Behind "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)"
  3. Go On, Make Peace with Dad by Will Kern. Originally published on June 17, 2001.
  4. On FindArticles.com: Healing Father-Son Relationship by Adeyemi Bandele, June 1999
  5. On blogcritics.org: How do the fatherless celebrate Father's Day, by Cherryl Aldave, June 19, 2005

More on Mother's Day & Estrangement

  1. Finding Mom's Right Gift by Elizabeth Lardie, May 8, 2007, The Times Record online
  2. Mars Needs Moms on Jim Hill Media. Only remotely connected to estrangement but funny nugget of mother-related stuff.
  3. CamelsbackandForth: Early Late Stories, May 10, 2007
  4. InsideToronto.com - On The Guardian: Mother's Day Coping Tips for the Bereaved, May 10, 2007
  5. On ehow.com: How to Mend Fences with Mom on Mother's Day
  6. On kcbx.net: History of Mother's Day - ". . . to obliterate family estrangement . . . "

Mother's Day & Estrangement

  1. On ChristianityToday: When Mother's Day Is Hard - Taking solace in Scripture's difficult and unsentimental image of motherhood. By Jenell Williams Paris, May 1, 2004
  2. How do you handle Mother's day if you're estranged? On Yahoo Answers, April 2007
  3. Time's Fool: Mother's Day: Not Everyone Celebrates, May 4, 2007
  4. On Salon.com:   The other woman - When my mom split up with my not-mom, Mother's Day lost its charm.By Molly Hennessy-Fiske, May 10, 2001
  5. Honoring those who have mothered us  Barbara Child, March 5, 2007
  6. Life Without Borders: Mother's Day, May 14, 2006
  7. The Occasional Editorialist: Rewarding Family for Their Quirks, March 28, 2007
  8. "Mother's Day", a Meditation by Lianne Olive Hennig
  9. On iVillage, Garden Web: Estrangement from Adult Child, July 25, 2006 to April 20,2007 (or possibly more recent date)
  10. Love and Support Needed, May 9, 2005
  11. Allied: I am a mother, May 9, 2005

Pass the ketchup but no thanks on the testosterone!

I love Scott Adams. There I said it. I love the guy. Today he posted a link to a study about the reactions of some people to angry faces.
High-testosterone people reinforced by other's anger new study finds, March 14, 2007 - on the University of Michigan website.
Which reminds me instantly of one of my mother's brothers and his love of teasing. And my mother's warped sense of humor where she excuses outrageous behavior in the name of joking. Until now I never would have thought of her as having high testosterone. Otherwise she was a wuss.
Scott Adams talks about the implications of this study in this post: This Explains Everything.
Now I am going to go and build a thatch hut for Scott Adams.

Ginny (who, until now, never realized that she had escaped the family testosterone curse.)


Kill the Goat on Estrangement

The first sentence of the post, Estrangement, Oct. 25, 2006, on Kill the Goat:

"It's such an unsatisfactory word, estrangement.  It's so hollow, so impersonal. . . . "

It's a post worth reading. She's a good writer.

Not estrangement-related but she has a blog with some yummy sounding recipes too: Sweet Jay's

It boggles my mind that her mother would estrange her.

Ginny


A guide to all things nice

It is Just You, Everything's Not Shit is a blog that is a response to a book with the title: "Is it Just Me or Is Everything Shit? The Encyclopedia of Modern Life" by Alan MacArthur and Steve Lowe.

The blog is indeed a "guide to all things nice".

No, neither the book nor the blog are about estrangement, per se. I haven't read the book and only read bits of the blog. I like the attitude of the blogger. Sometimes attitude towards what happens in life makes such a difference. So many people are their own worst enemies. Life can be pretty darned nice if we let it.

Ginny